Maybe if I tell myself enough (I'll get over you)
by pearsonasnic
Summary: After hearing the news that Hook proposed, Regina feels unable to see Emma without hurting and so she hides away in her mansion. A concerned Emma decides to visit instead and the two end up talking which makes them both come to a realisation that they should have come to sooner.


_**Maybe if I tell myself enough (I'll get over you)**_

She'd been giving her the cold shoulder, she knew she had and still…she couldn't bring herself to stop. It just hurt too much, there was this constant gnawing ache sat on her chest and seeing _her_ **,** it just made it that much worse.

There was a part of her that had thought that one day they would be together, that it was an inevitable course of action no matter what happened. She believed that they would just fall together eventually. Even when Robin and Hook came along, she still believed.

Yet now she saw how foolish she had been, she should have made a move, not sat idly by waiting for something to happen. It was too late now.

Everything that could have been, her fantasies and daydreams that had once been a comfort played on a torturous loop in her mind, shattering.

How could she have been so _stupid_?

But oh, Emma had looked so happy when she'd told them the news.

It had been hard to keep it all together, she was only dimly aware of hugging Emma and _that_ was a mistake. They didn't hug. Maybe it had been some unspoken mutual agreement, that they'd only touch when necessary, though she couldn't remember exactly when it had started.

Their few touches were electric, they left her feeling dizzy, short of breath, her heart-pounding in her chest and butterflies erupting in her stomach. Energy seemed to sizzle between them and their magic… together they were breath-taking. In Neverland, she'd found herself pondering what that all could mean but then they'd come back to Storybrooke and well…that just wasn't on her mind anymore.

Her feelings were such a confused muddle, one second she'd be overcome with the loss of something she'd never even had. Then seconds later she'd be filled with a burning rage. Not at Emma, never at Emma.

 _Hook_ , his name was bitter on her tongue. What right did _he_ have, proposing after they'd only been together 6 months? _Stupid, filthy pirate_ **.**

The guilt would creep in next because what right did _she_ have, especially if he made her happy and she wanted Emma to be happy, that's all she wanted for her. That was how it would go then, wildly cycling through emotions.

Her cell phone lit up, vibrating loudly against the table that it was placed on. _Emma Swan_ shining up at her and a picture of the blonde smiling naturally, care free **.** Henry had taken it without either of his mothers' knowledge, seeing it now made her stomach lurch and twist.

Tears leaked from her eyes, damn she'd been doing such a good job at holding them back. She slammed the almost untouched glass of cider that had been cradled in her hands, on the table next to her phone, some spilt over the side of the glass. She'd only had a sip, she'd thought about drinking till the feelings numbed, but she just couldn't bring herself to do it.

A loud banging at the door brought Regina out of her thoughts, she wiped under her eyes, trying not to smudge her makeup.

" _Regina!"_

Emma. Regina pressed a button on her phone and noticed that she had 11 missed calls. Surprisingly they were mainly from Emma, with a few here and there from Snow and Henry. How long had it been since she'd been in contact with anyone? Hmm, a day or so maybe? She'd briefly texted Henry and Snow the night before but Emma, she had been ignoring all her increasingly worried texts.

The last she'd seen of Emma, Regina had given her a tight-lipped smile and told her that everything was fine. Of course, it wasn't but she didn't have anyone to talk to about this. Snow was her usual go to, but sure, just tell Emma's Mother that she's completely in love with her daughter and how distraught she is that she's lost her chance with her to a fool who could never deserve anyone, let alone Emma.

More banging and shouting jolted her into action.

She jumped up and strode quickly to the door, jerking it open and glowering at the blonde saviour who dared to stand in her doorway. "And what is it that you want? _Miss Swan_ , or is it _Mrs Jones_ now," she sniped bitterly.

Emma looked startled, her mouth hanging open for a second, a quick flash of hurt crossing her features. "Regina? Wait…is that what this is about?"

"Is what about exactly?" Hands on her hips, she gave an icy glare that could stab holes through the leather clad woman on her doorstep.

"Are you hiding because Hook asked me to marry him?" Emma seemed to be studying her carefully, voice slightly incredulous.

Regina bristled at the very true accusation, "of course not!" she didn't quite meet the younger woman's eye.

"We've been so worried Regina, we thought that maybe you were regretting letting the Queen go."

"No," she snapped out, "I'm fine."

"Yeah, sure you are." Emma rolled her eyes.

Regina harrumphed, then turned and walked into the mansion, leaving Emma awkwardly stood outside till she got the hint to follow. She strode back into her study, she was being very cold to the woman that meant so much to her but how else was she to hide her true feelings.

"Have you been drinking?" Emma spoke from the study doorway mere seconds later, leaning against the frame with her arms folded.

"Just a sip," it was Regina's turn to roll her eyes now as she sat on the couch. "What is it you want, Miss Swan? because if it was just to check-up on me, well you have, and I'm fine."

"Do you think if you keep telling yourself that it will be true next time?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," the brunette sniffed.

"Sure," Emma paused for a second before adding, "it's just, I thought we were passed this y'know?"

Regina kept her gaze firmly away from Emma, instead staring directly ahead, she was not sure that she could hold back the tears that were threatening to fall again.

"I thought we talked now," Emma's voice was filled with sadness or maybe it was disappointment.

"I don't know what you mean," Regina cursed the quiver in her voice and the tears that were starting to slide down her cheek, falling despite not having looked the blonde's way.

Of course, Emma noticed, the saviour was kneeling in front of her in no time. "Hey, Regina. Please talk to me, you're scaring me…and Henry, he's been so worried too."

Low blow, using their son but at that, she turned her face to Emma at least. When their eyes met and she saw nothing but utmost care, a fresh pang of longing slammed into her chest, overwhelming her and causing a sudden loss of sense, or that's what she'd blame anyway. "Emma," she whimpered out, it was almost pathetic but she found she couldn't care.

"Regina? What is it?" Emma looked alarmed.

"You, Emma, it's always been you," Regina croaked out.

A look of puzzlement crossed pale features, "me…what? What are you talking about Regina?"

"Damn it, Swan, I love you ok!" there, the words were out and once they were a dam seemed to break because the words wouldn't stop coming after that. "That's why I'm hiding because I _love_ you and I can't stand the thought of you marrying _him_. I should have told you forever ago but I didn't and now you have him. I couldn't bear to see you because it hurt too much."

She seemed to crumple in on herself, sobs wreaking through her, arms wrapped around her middle trying to pull everything back together. Surprisingly, Regina found strong, warm arms wrap around her and Emma's voice at her ear.

"Oh, my god, Regina," Emma's voice came muffled into her darker hair. "I thought…I thought it was just me. I forced myself to not look at you that way because I thought it wasn't possible."

"What?" Regina gasped out, sitting up and forcing Emma backwards so she was kneeling in front of her again.

"I…I…Regina," now Emma had tears starting to slide down her face.

Regina's face contorted into a pained expression, "you…no, Emma?"

"I don't want to marry him, not if I can have you," her voice trembled as she spoke.

Incredulously, Regina asked, "you want…me?"

No answer came, just pained eyes staring back at her until… hands raised to cup her tear stained cheeks. Regina's breath caught in her chest in anticipation of what might happen next, her hands coming up to rest on Emma's forearms. Their lips met.

Truth be told, it was kind of gross as far as first kisses go. It was very wet, what with them both crying buckets now, though it didn't matter in the slightest to either of them. Their lips moved together and it was like two puzzle pieces slotting into place.

They pulled apart after only a few short seconds, just to gaze back into each other's eyes, tears drying on their cheeks and breaths mingling.

"Wow," Emma murmured as their eyes drifted back to one another's lips. Wow indeed, Regina thought, if there had been sparks from their previous brief touches then this was a storm.

They were kissing again, longer this time, a small whimper falling between them when Emma pushed forward, pinning Regina against the couch, straddling her lap. The Saviour's tongue darted out swiping across a bottom lip, Regina granted access immediately and Emma moaned as their tongues met, tasting each other for the first time. She reacted instinctively, hips rising to meet Emma's centre and arms wrapping around the blonde to pull her impossibly closer.

A moment later Emma pulled away just enough so that she could tug at the buttons of Regina's shirt, pulling them open and revealing more soft olive skin to touch. They were on auto pilot, years' worth of tension having finally boiled over.

Emma's lips moved to her neck, sucking, nibbling and licking. Regina's mind felt foggy, she tilted her head to give more access, there was a reason they should stop but she couldn't remember what it was. It was only when Emma moved to the soft flesh of her breasts, that the brunette realised why. Emma was with Hook and she couldn't be the other woman, she couldn't be with Emma when this was between them, they needed to stop.

"Emma," she groaned out breathily, "what about…what about Hook?"

Emma sat upright instantly, "he doesn't matter." She moved back in for another kiss but Regina held her away.

"Emma," she stated seriously, "I don't like the man but no one deserves to be cheated on and I won't be the other woman in this."

"He's gone," the blonde above her was still trying to reach for her but Regina was not satisfied by the given explanation.

"What do you mean, gone?" her eyebrows knitted together. She seemed to have missed a lot in her short time keeping to herself, she had not been aware of this significant detail.

"Listen, Regina, I don't want to go into it too much, not right now but he left and it hurt but then there's us. I want us more than I could ever want to be with him."

Emma's eyes looked sincere but she had to make sure, "I'm not just a rebound, am I? A Distraction?"

"God no, Regina. Hook was the distraction, he's been my distraction from you this whole time. All I've ever wanted to do is hold you and touch you, show you how completely irresistible and special you are, especially when you don't see it yourself."

The words brought tears back to Regina's eyes, she couldn't quite form coherent words as they caught in her throat, "Emma, oh Emma."

"We've waited so long, we were both so stupid and I want to start making up for lost time. I need to show you just how much you mean to me and make this special for you." Emma rocked into her as she leaned in, a soft kiss pressed to Regina's lips, it didn't last anywhere near long enough, just seconds.

"We can talk about this later, yes?" If they were going to be more, then they needed to talk.

"Yes, but for now…" Emma spoke softly into Regina's ear, "I want to touch you, explore every inch of you," she brought her hands up to bra covered breasts, stroking thumbs over nipples that hardened to the touch.

Regina's breath hitched and she arched into the thumbs toying with her, wanting, needing more.

When Emma tried to push the shirt off her shoulders, she stopped her by holding onto her wrists, "I'd like to magically transport us to my bed if that's ok with you?" Regina responded to Emma's confused look.

Emma nodded enthusiastically and Regina rolled her eyes but with a playful smile tugging at her lips.

Once they were situated on Regina's bed, in much the same position they were in on the couch, with Regina laid back against pillows and Emma straddling her thighs, Emma finished removing her shirt and made quick work on the black bra underneath.

Emma licked her lips as she took in bare breasts, she wasted no time in touching, exploring. She used her hands, mouth and tongue, latching onto one nipple and stroking her tongue over the sensitive peak. The other breast was not left neglected as she rolled the nipple in her fingers, softly teasing Regina to distraction.

The look of unadulterated lust she saw pass over Emma's face as her breasts had been exposed sent a fresh pool of arousal to her already wet and throbbing core. "Emma," Regina whimpered, her fingers curling into blonde hair.

Emma hummed in response, causing Regina to shiver at the sensation and Emma to smile then pull back to press a kiss to full lips.

She needed to feel skin, so Regina tugged at the red leather jacket, which Emma assisted in shrugging off and threw to the side. Lips still connected, Regina slid her fingers under Emma's shirt, stroking up her firm muscled abdomen before pulling the shirt up, the kiss only breaking when Emma pulled it over her head and threw it in the direction of her jacket.

"You can pick them up later," Regina mumbled into Emma's lips.

A smile curled on the younger woman's face as she started making her way down Regina's body, pulling at her slacks till they too joined the clothing scattered on the floor.

Regina just rolled her eyes playfully, watching Emma clumsily pull off her own skin-tight jeans. She re-joined Regina quickly, kissing her deeply before lavishing attention to her pulse point on her neck.

Regina turned her head to give Emma more access but snaked her hands around the woman's back and unclipped her bra fastenings. Emma pulled it off and out from between them, not missing a beat as she continued her attention on Regina's skin. Their completely bare torsos pressed together finally.

Both their hands roved over flesh, exploring, both needing to touch as much of the other as they could manage, the energy in the air felt palpable with their caresses of each other's skin. When Emma's thigh pressed against her centre, Regina let out a whimper, her hips bucking, she ached for more.

"Fuck," Emma paused her ministrations to Regina's skin, "I can feel how wet you are."

"I need you," Regina's voice shook as she spoke, "inside me, please, Emma. I need you inside me." She sounded so needy and maybe a few year ago she would have been horrified at her own words but now she didn't care.

Emma groaned, she pressed a short kiss to her lips then settled back to give enough room to slide the scrap of black lace that was the last covering on Regina's body, down her olive toned legs. That too was discarded with the rest of their clothes.

Regina brought her knees up so that her feet were pressed against the soft sheets of the bed, she let her legs fall open, leaving herself completely exposed. She could see Emma's breathing becoming heavier, her chest rising and falling as arousal darkened hazel eyes narrowed onto her pussy.

The throbbing between her thighs intensified, she needed Emma's touch now and she couldn't take it anymore. She sat up and pulled the blonde down on top of her, cradled her between her legs. Their lips smashed together, heat and need building, building, building.

Emma pushed her hand down between them and they both moaned at the first contact, at fingers sliding through arousal slicked folds. The first brush against her clit sent her hips thrusting up, she was so wet, much more than she could remember ever being before for anyone else.

She whimpered as Emma finally pushed a finger into her, then a second, her hips rising and falling with Emma's thrusting. She wrapped her legs around the blonde's waist, pushing her in deeper with each thrust, hitting a spot inside that had her shuddering.

When Emma's thumb found her swollen clit, she felt like she might explode, her walls fluttered around the fingers buried inside her. She was so close already and she let out soft keening moans interspersed with crying out Emma's name into her lover's shoulder as they rocked together.

Emma rubbing hard circles against her clit was what did it, her pussy clenching around relentlessly moving fingers, back arching, body shaking as she was sent tumbling over the edge with a sob.

Regina's mind went blissfully blank for a moment, nothing mattered, nothing but Emma inside her, around her. Fingers stilled as her walls pulsed hard, though Emma continued to gently stroke her thumb over Regina's clit, prolonging her orgasm.

Emma only pulled away completely when Regina's body relaxed and she lay boneless underneath her.

She lay panting, eyes closed then she felt Emma pressing soft kisses to her eye's and forehead, when their lips met she smiled into the kiss.

"Hi," Emma was smiling back when Regina opened her eyes.

"Hey," Regina replied breathily, "that was…"

A lopsided grin appeared on Emma's face, "amazing? The best sex you've ever had? I am good, aren't I?"

Regina let out a bark of laughter and grabbed one of the pillows beside her, shoving it towards the cocky blonde playfully.

They laughed and kissed, Regina managing to roll Emma onto her back so she could straddle her hips. "Now I have you right where I want you, Swan," the brunette winked, though it would probably have been more effective if she could wink Emma said nothing and just looked back in amusement.

Regina slid her way down Emma's body, teasing the slightly salt tanged skin with lips, tongue and teeth. She bit down on a nipple and laved her tongue over it to soothe and sucked hard. Emma let out a gasp and Regina locked eyes with her, letting the nipple go with a wet pop she asked, "was that ok?"

"Yes," Emma breathed, "that was a good gasp."

Regina smirked, "good," then went back to the other breast, grazing her teeth over the nipple before biting down again. She felt hands stroking through her hair as she laved her tongue over this one too, drawing out breathy moans from Emma.

Next, she skimmed her teeth down Emma's abdomen, watching as muscles rippled beneath her touch. Finally, she reached where she was most eager to taste, she settled between thighs, she could see a damp spot in the material of Emma's panties and had the urge to press her mouth to it.

The closer she got the more potent the smell of Emma's arousal, she swiped her tongue over the damp fabric, getting only a limited taste of the tangy wetness. She grazed her teeth over the fabric.

"Regiiina," Emma whined, "you're teasing."

"Hmm," Regina mused, eyebrow raised but she wasted no time in pulling Emma's panties off. She looked up into hazel eyes for a moment, anticipation building, before lowering her eyes to the pussy before her. Taking in the beautiful sight that was all Emma, she couldn't wait to taste her. She lay down between Emma's spread legs, pressing kisses to her thighs and sucking the soft skin into her mouth.

"That's still teasing," Emma groaned.

Regina smirked, then took her first lick through folds, hips bucked up to meet her mouth and she pushed them back down, splaying a hand over Emma's stomach. Of course, Emma tasted delicious, she needed to taste her more, she swirled her tongue at her entrance then pushed in as far as she could.

She felt Emma's hand softly tangle in her hair, glancing up she saw the beautiful blonde head back with her other hand fisted into sheets. She enjoyed the panting moans she was pulling from the saviour, she wanted to reach deeper so she replaced her probing tongue with two fingers, thrusting into the blonde.

Missing having Emma in her mouth, she flicked her tongue over her swollen clit before sealing her lips around it and swirling her tongue over the bud. Emma's moans grew in sound as she got closer to her peak, Regina continuing to pump her fingers into her and suck on her clit.

"Regina," Emma moaned, "I'm gonna…"

Regina hummed into Emma's clit the vibrations sending her barrelling towards orgasm and plummeting over the edge. Hips rose and thighs clamped around Regina's head, she continued working her tongue, pushing Emma through her release. When she felt the thighs around her head relax she pressed a kiss to Emma's hooded sex then crawled back up to curl up next to her.

Emma rolled on her side to face her, their foreheads rested together, legs tangled, they just held onto one another, content to just be in each other's arms for a while. Emma smiled then, and it was possibly one of the most beautiful things Regina had seen, it had her smiling back, the happiest she had felt in a long time.

"Regina," Emma whispered, bringing her hand up to stroke her thumb over Regina's cheek. "This is too soon probably, but I…I think I…no, I know that I…" she took a moment to breathe, Regina just listened and waited, letting Emma take her time.

"Regina, I love you," the blonde looked nervous at her admission but her words filled Regina with a warmth that spread throughout her chest.

"Oh Emma, you know I love you too, how could I not?" Regina herself had just admitted her love to the younger woman earlier and then she'd had no clue that Emma would feel the same way. "No, it's not too soon, we should have probably done this sooner," they'd both been foolish.

"That wasn't as scary as I thought it'd be," Emma admitted.

"What do you mean?"

"With other people, I've found it hard to tell them…but with you…once it was out, it just felt so right."

Regina just smiled back, eye's shining with affection for the beautiful woman in front of her. They kissed, slow and languid this time, taking the time to explore each other thoroughly, they had all the time in the world now.

For the rest of the evening, they made love, learned to read one another's responses and clung to each other, needing to feel their skin pressed closely together. It was only when they were both too exhausted to continue that they lay, sated and sweaty, drifting off to sleep.

Regina smiled blearily, snuggly wrapped in Emma's arms and their hands clasped together, this was something she was never letting go of. Maybe they could of and should have done this sooner but in the here and now they were both happy and that was what mattered most.

There were more battles to come and things were never going to be easy but finally, they were united in the strongest way possible. Through their combined love for each other and their son, they were stronger now than they had ever been.

For the first time in a long time, Regina was excited for what her future held, especially if it included more nights ending like this one had.


End file.
